I'm still going to Chicago!

In the early parts of my divorce, I made plans to go to Chicago with a man I had met in an online singles group, we'll call him J. He seemed like a great guy and I was drawn to his persistence - he pursued me in a way I had never been pursued before. I wasn't looking for anything, and he just showed up all of a sudden one day out of nowhere. He messaged me through FB messenger and our relationship took off. We had so many similarities in our lives - besides divorce, we both struggled with anxiety and depression, we both enjoyed music (mostly the same kinds), we both "got" each other's joking and sarcasm, we both loved to travel, and we just really got along. Not to mention he was handsome too. 

Early on, we decided we would go to Chicago to see a band, American Aquarium. This was probably my first mistake, but I was trying to live a "YOLO" life and not think too much about things. So I said "yes" to going. We both booked our own flights to meet up there on a Friday, and leave on a Monday - it was over Labor Day weekend. He booked our hotel, as he had enough "points" from all of his traveling for work, and he bought our concert tickets (they were $20.00). I bought our tickets to see a baseball game on Sunday afternoon (the Cubs were going to be playing the Pirates), but I didn't tell him. I wanted to surprise him! This is a whole other post, as me buying the tickets that he didn't know about caused drama.

Anyway, it was all set! I was excited to go to Chicago, as I've never been, and I was excited to see the concert because I fell in LOVE with the band - their music is awesome! If you've never heard them and like country/folk, check them out! He seemed excited too and we would share music all the time with each other from American Aquarium. But then, things changed.

To this day, I don't know where things died out. I don't know what changed. But, I DO know that he cancelled his flight and hotel because I found out that the concert venue was requiring vaccine cards where your second dose had to have been a minimum of 14 days prior to the day of the concert. And I recently found out he had just barely received his 1st dose! So, he cancelled his plans and I was left to figure out what I wanted to do. Immediately after he cancelled, I was going to cancel my plans as well. But then, I didn't. Something in me was telling me to go on the trip anyway. Go to Chicago on my own, and spend the time with my niece. So I decided that was what I needed to do for myself. I needed to go away on my own and prove to myself that I could do it. I've done it before (traveled to places by myself), but I've never done it after being stood up. I needed to do it to prove I am ok. I am ok to travel by myself, and I am ok to do things I want to even if other people don't want to. I am ok. 

So here I go! I leave tomorrow morning and I am SO EXCITED! I don't know whatever happened to the guy I was talking to...his messages to me became less frequent and slowly dwindled to nothing. And while I was originally really sad and hurt in the beginning, I've learned what a blessing in disguise the lack of communication really is. I dodged a bullet, or rather a bomb. He is NOT the one for me and the reasons why are numerous. But that is a story for another day.