Drunk again.

 I've realized that the fact that my current boyfriend would rather hang out with his alcoholic friend and get drunk rather than hang out with me is really bothering me. We do not see each other very often, mainly because he is in school full-time right now, and I'm taking classes too. We both have our kids on the same weekends, and he lives with his parents as their full-time care-taker. I don't think I want to be with him anymore. Partly because I do not feel like I'm a priority in his life. 

So, I think I want to break things off with him before everything gets too complicated and involved. I don't think he is the right fit for me, we seem to have such different goals. He is ok with things being 'good enough' and I want to do things well and at the best of my ability. He says I'm 'intense' - which makes me laugh. I'm not intense, I'm just wanting to do a good job at everything. 

He can't manage his money to save his life. If he has money, he is going to spend it. That's not how I operate, and I don't want to have to worry about always helping someone else because they can't manage their own money. 

I want an equal in this world. I want someone who pushes me to do, and be, better. I'm tired of always being the one who pushes others to do and be better. I want someone where we push each other. Someone that wants to set big goals and work together to achieve them. Someone who always puts their best foot forward because it's who they are and better is who they want to be. Someone who takes pride in themselves. 

I just don't think he is the one for me.