Divorce on the Other Side

 It has been a little over a year since my divorce. I still struggle, and somedays I wake up and forget I'm living what seems to be a nightmare. The nightmare is only because I miss my kids and I have financial worries. Currently, I make $48,000/year. That's all. I barely make ends meet each month. Today I filled my gas tank in my 2014 Honda Accord and it cost $75.00. $75!!!!! I went to the store and bought a few fresh fruit and vegetables - and I paid $40.00. The inflation is currently killing me and I don't know how I will make it much longer unless I get a significant raise. I hate these worries. I feel like they consume me and I have a difficult time being able to think or focus on anything else.  Today I learned that my health insurance will cover 100% of my therapy if I do it via telehealth. This is great news! I also do not have a maximum on the number of sessions, so I can go weekly if I want. I'm so excited to learn this because previously I didn't think my

 You hear the stories, you read the stories, but you never believe the story will happen to you and your children. Until it does. Last night was rough.  A lot of information came out of my son, and confirmed by my daughter, that ripped my heart out and crushed it. It all started on Sunday early evening, about an hour before bedtime, so around 7 pm. I reminded my son that we needed to start getting ready for bed soon. Less than a minute later he said to me, 'I don't want to go to daddy's tomorrow. I wish I could stay with you some more.' My heart sank because we have had these conversations before and I knew the gist of what was going to be said. My children feel like they are invisible to their dad.  My son feels like he is the least liked. In his own words, ' I feel like daddy doesn't even know who I am anymore. The only people who know me are my friends, you, and Alba.' 💔 Both of my kids agreed that my son, Easton, is the 'low man on the totem pole

 Ok, I'm not really moving to Chicago, but I really want to! Ha! I seriously loved every second that I was there. And the really crazy thing is that I've never thought of myself as a city girl. Ever. I always felt more comfortable being in the suburbs, but when I was in Chicago, my sense of adventure came out like never before and I felt alive again for the first time in a very long time. It was such a good feeling to feel something in myself that I forgot existed. I think traveling does this for me - it draws out my adventurous side that I forgot was there. I want to be able to travel again - and connect with this side of me again. I'd also like to take my kids on adventures to places so they can also see what it is like to experience and explore other places.   One of my favorite things we did in Chicago was ride bikes along the lake-front and through parts of the city - so amazing! Just to see the views and take it all in was so inspiring and made me feel SO ALIVE! It