Therapy - session 1

 Tonight I had my first therapy session with my new therapist. She is a local MFT that I found through my health insurance. I think she will be a good fit for me, as she is a good listener and seems to be invested in helping me unwind the web of things I want to work on. Our session tonight was really about discussing what it is that I want to focus on in therapy. I told her since my divorce a year ago, I've really started uncovering a lot of issues in my life and tracing them back to childhood. There is SO. MUCH. TO. DIG. THROUGH. I realized I can't move forward or move on in my life until I figure out the deep-seated issues. So I'm digging in and ready to do the work. I know it is going to be a long road, but I'm ready. 

The goal for this week is to figure out who I am and what I like. I'm basically going to date myself for awhile because I don't know who I am or what I even like. So my first therapy 'assignment' is to find a list of 50 questions to ask on a first date, and answer them for myself. It's all about who I am and what I like, and why I feel the way I do about the things. I'm looking forward to this exercise to see what I answer and why. 

Something during the session that my therapist said that really stuck with me was when she compared depression to a parasite. I don't know why, but it really resonated with me to think of it this way. The depression isn't my mind speaking, it's a parasite attached to my mind (the host) and I need to stop listening to it and not giving it 'supply'. Whenever it starts to speak, I need to do the opposite of what it is saying. To think of depression this way will, hopefully, give me a leg up to start unwinding things and get on the other side of depression. I'm so hopeful.